Mary and her husband Jim had a dog named 'Lucky.'
Lucky was a real character. Whenever Mary and Jim had company come
for a week end visit they would warn their friends to not leave their
luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his
fancy. Inevitably, someone would forget and something would come up
missing.
Mary or Jim would go to Lucky's toy box in the basement and there
the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky's other favorite toys. Lucky
always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular
that his toys stay in the box.
It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer.
Something told her she was going to die of this disease....in fact,
she was just sure it was fatal. She scheduled the double mastectomy,
fear riding her shoulders.
The night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled with
Lucky. A thought struck her...what would happen to Lucky? Although
the three-year-old dog liked Jim, he was Mary's dog through and
through. If I die, Lucky will feel abandoned, Mary thought. He won't
understand that I didn't want to leave him. The thought made her
sadder than thinking of her own death.
The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors had
anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two weeks. Jim took
Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the little dog just drooped,
whining and miserable.
Finally the day came for Mary to leave the hospital.
When she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she couldn't even make
it up the steps to her bedroom. Jim made his wife comfortable on the
couch and left her to nap. Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn't
come to her when she called. It made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame
her and she dozed.
When Mary woke, for a second she couldn't understand what was
wrong. She couldn't move her head and her body felt heavy and hot.
But panic soon gave way to laughter when Mary realized the problem.
She was covered, literally blanketed, with every treasure Lucky owned!
While she had slept, the sorrowing dog had made trip after trip to
the basement bringing his beloved mistress all his favorite things in
life. He had covered her with his love.
Mary forgot about dying. Instead she and Lucky began living
again, walking further and further together every day. It's been 12
years now and Mary is still cancer-free. Lucky? He still steals
treasures and stashes them in his toy box but Mary remains his
greatest treasure.
Remember.... Live every day to the fullest. Each minute is a
blessing. And never forget....the people who make a difference
in our lives are not the ones with the most credentials, the most
money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care for us.
If you see someone without a smile today give them one of yours!
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest.
Monday, November 26, 2007
This Dog Knows What's Important... Do YOU?
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LaVeda H. Mason
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Labels: caring, generous, kindness, love, lucky, personal development, treasure, what's important
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Quote on Friendship
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LaVeda H. Mason
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Saturday, November 17, 2007
It's A Wonderful World...
There are many things that are wrong in the world today, and a lot of reasons (if you choose) to despair.
If we choose to.
Or, we can work on ourselves to be the change that we want to see in the world. To eliminate the cruelty, selfishness, predjudice in ourselves. To be kinder, more understanding, and generous with one another.
Even people that we don't know. Or don't look like us. Or don't live in our neighborhood/city/country.
No matter where we live, there is something to be grateful for.
Having a home, clothes to wear, food to eat, and water to drink. If you live in the West, there are all kinds of labor-saving devices that make your life easier. All kinds of gadgets to use to work, play, communicate, and other things. Just about all of them are within the financial reach of the average person. Physically, life doesn't get much better than this.
With all that we have physically, there is still the emotional and spiritual to work on. Can we become better people, so that our inner reality matches our physical reality? I think that we can. I think that I can; I'm willing to do my best to do so.
Can we start with our families? Can we treat our families with the respect that we extend to strangers? Before you flame me, think about this: Haven't you noticed that when someone want you to do something because 'we are family', that it is something that is usually not in your best interest? It will cost you, and not the other person, in terms of time, effort, money, and trouble. (This principle extends to any request that falls under the 'we have ____ in common, so you should do this' category)
Can we remember to use 'please', 'thank you', 'may I', and be kind, thoughtful and helpful to our immediate family members? Spread the love :-)!
It's A Wonderful World...
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LaVeda H. Mason
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Labels: companion, courtesy, cruelty, emotional, emotional freedom, family, friendship, generous, kindness, love, personal development, predjudice, respect, selfishness, spiritual, thoughtful, understanding
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Just for Today...
I will relax.
I'll stop worrying about the things that I don't know the whole story about. All will be revealed, in due time, if I am meant to know.
I will let other people handle their own problems without my input.
I will remember that I am okay, even though I am not perfect.
I will love the people around me, whether they love me back or not.
I will establish and respect the boundaries that keep me safe, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
I will take a NAP!!
See you tomorrow!
Just for Today...
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LaVeda H. Mason
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Labels: emotional freedom, love, perfect, personal development, relax, spiritual
Sunday, November 04, 2007
... Then Who Will Love Me?
"...the greatest suffering is being lonely, feeling unloved, having no one. I have come more and more to realize that it is being unwanted that is the worst disease that any human being can ever experience."
~Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Being unloved and unwanted is terrifying. I'd daresay that it is probably the reason that people put up with all kinds of emotional abuse; if you don't take it, "then there would be no one to love me", thing.
Scary.
I know first-hand how scary this is, I went through it with someone that was only too happy to pull out the "we are a family" schtick when it was something they wanted, that meant a lot of extra work for me, or not in my best interests. When things went south, though... they grabbed their behind in both hands and headed for the hills (metaphorically), leaving me to deal with the fallout. When the smoke cleared, I was expected to be okay with trusting this person again, the way that I had before.
That was an unforgettable, watershed moment for me. Something inside me snapped. I had worked so hard for people to like me, to respect me, to be a stand up person, by doing what others wanted me to do, that I had lost myself somewhere in the mix. And it didn't count for anything, anyway.
So, what did I do?
I said, "No."
And trotting out "We Are A Family" didn't work this time. (Have you ever noticed that when people pull out what you have in common with them to get you to do something, it is a really bad thing for *you* to do?) No one who knew me could understand why I was "being so difficult" ... but what really changed my viewpoint was this observation:
If I didn't do this, this person wouldn't love me anymore (BIG FEAR)...
but (facing fear)
their behavior spoke loudly and clearly that they DIDN'T LOVE ME ANYWAY!!
[!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sound of bonds breaking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
I'm so glad that my parents (who I've had my share of disagreements with over the years) were straight shooters... no emotional manipulation, guilt trips, and the like... so, once the blinders were removed, it was easier to cut the web of lies (spoken & unspoken) and machinations. Make no mistake, I don't hate this person, and life is too short to spend limited personal time with people who don't like you.
Is my life any easier?
In some ways yes, and in some ways no.
Yes, because my behavior and my feelings are on the same page. My worth is not based on the fleeting feelings of other people. I don't look into someone else's mirror to validate that I am a worthwhile human being, even though I am imperfect (just like everyone else).
No, because there is still pressure to conform, no matter what it may do to my spirit. No, because it is making the lives of the people around me more difficult. Everyone is learning about the new me, and she doesn't put up with trash from other people. And it is not up for discussion, either. I don't fight about it. I simply won't put up with it.
I will still give you the shirt off my back, just not at the expense of the things that are most important to me (the way that I used to).
But overall, I think that it has been a good thing. It has freed me to care about people, without having to take on all their problems personally. To allow my friends and loved ones to solve their own problems, without my help (which they probably didn't want anyway, lol!). Am I perfect with this? Nope. I'm still learning to mind my own business, but I'm getting a lot better at being dispassionate.
To answer the question that the post line poses, "I will." It starts with me. I have to exhibit the behavior that I want to see in other people. I have to teach people how to treat me, by walking the path.
Care to join me on the journey?
... Then Who Will Love Me?
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LaVeda H. Mason
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Labels: caring, dispassionate, emotion, emotional freedom, fear, love, not fear, personal development, self-development, trust
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Loving the Person Who Isn't "One of Us"
I was reading Rubel Shelley's site, and I particularly liked this article.
And, while he was talking about church going people, I think that it's also appropriate in a secular context, because we have a tendency to view people who are "not like us" as somehow different than us, ie., they do not have the same feelings, issues, problems, and joys as we do.
I wish that I could say that I've never done this, but I've been guilty of making assumptions about people based on *very* superficial information, and then being embarrassed when I found out that I was completely mistaken. The only 'good' thing about my error was that I had not made my assumptions public, so I didn't have to walk around with egg on my face. But it sure stings to be wrong about something. It feels like something out of Dr. Seuss:
"All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot."
Anyway, I'm always trying to stay aware of what's actually going on inside my head, and not just acting from fear, or from a place where I'm in 'zombie-mode', where I'm not thinking at all, just walking around in a daze. It is incredibly easy to slip back into old habits and patterns of being, especially when you are trying to create new, better habits.
©2007 LaVeda H. Mason All Rights Reserved.
Loving the Person Who Isn't "One of Us"
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Tuesday, September 25, 2007
How To Never Be Intimidated By Others!
How?
The answer is simple.
You have something that no one else has, just like everyone else has something that you do not. And, while you are wasting time being intimidated by what someone else has, they are doing the same.
And no one is learning anything!!
Don't be afraid to not know something. That's how you learn.
If you meet someone who has a head full of facts, remember that your ability to [fill in your stellar qualities here] is just as vital, and necessary as theirs :-).
I have a friend whose heart is so big, it fills the room. And this person tells me that my ability to remember [mostly useless, lol!] facts, figures, and minutae sometimes makes her regret that she didn't take advantage of her educational opportunities. WHAT?!?
Her heart is needed more than my brains.... in fact, there is a distinct dearth of people who have heart *without* ulterior motive ... in my opinion, they are worth their weight in gold!
©2007 LaVeda H. Mason All Rights Reserved.
How To Never Be Intimidated By Others!
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