Quote on Friendship

"A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same."
-- Elbert Hubbard

Quote on Friendship

The Queens' Four Boyfriends

Once upon a time there was a queen who had four boyfriends.

She loved the 4th boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes, and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.

She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.

She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times.

The girl's 1st boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!

One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.'

Thus, she asked the 4th boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'

'No way!', replied the 4th boyfriend, and he walked away without another word.

His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.

The sad girl then asked the 3rd boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'

'No!', replied the 3rd boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!' Her heart sank and turned cold.

She then asked the 2nd boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?'

'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the 2nd boyfriend. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.'

His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.

Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.'

The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect.

Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'

In truth, you have 4 boyfriends in your lives:

Your 4th boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die.

Your 3rd boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth. When you die, it will all go to others.

Your 2nd boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.

And your 1st boyfriend is your Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world.

However, your Soul is the only thing that will follow you where ever you
go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of
you that will follow you to Eternity.

[LaVeda here: Unknown Author... I received this in my email today, and I thought that it was excellent 'Food for Thought'.]

The Queens' Four Boyfriends

Learning (Again) to Mind My Own Business

Proselytize \Pros"e*ly*tize\, v. t. [imp. & p. p. proselytized; p. pr. & vb. n. Proselytizing.]
To convert to some religion, system, opinion, or the like; to bring, or cause to come, over; to proselyte.

Some days, I do a pretty good job of minding my own business. As a spouse, parent, and homeowner, there's always something to do that keeps me busy, and out of other people's hair.

And sometimes, I discover new and shiny things (products, services, and information) that may be useful to my friends and loved ones. So, to me, it's perfectly natural to "share the wealth", so to speak.

However, every now and again, I've crossed the line between sharing information and proselytizing. Not from any desire to take over the unfortunate proselyte's (is that a word? lol!) life, or to make them feel like a failure, but out of an eagerness to share cool/useful info that I think may improve their life/make it easier/make it more enjoyable. I only have three words for myself when I do this:

STOP THAT STUFF (insert your own expletive here)!!!

I don't have enough wisdom and/or experience to play God.... I've seen His job, and I don't want it.

In addition, the unfortunate person feels pressured to accept my viewpoint, whether or not it is suitable to their lifestyle/interests/finances. Do I really want to do this? Do I really want a friend that does what I suggest, simply because I said it, without considering how such a thing fits into their life?

The short answer to all these questions is, "No."

So sometimes, sharing new and shiny information is its own reward. And maybe, just maybe, after I've done it myself, others will follow in my footsteps :-).

©2007 LaVeda H. Mason All Rights Reserved.

Learning (Again) to Mind My Own Business

Why and How to Deal With Adversity

Adversity: [noun] a stroke of ill fortune; a calamitous event; "a period marked by adversities"

Everyone acknowledges that adversity is a force that reveals your inner strengths and weaknesses. But, everyone also agrees that they don't want to go through it, even knowing that it will, in the end, be a beneficial experience for them.

Why?

Because dealing with adversity involves struggle, effort, time, money, trouble and worst of all, pain. And we will do almost anything to avoid pain in our lives. When you are actually going through adversity, it is akin to being on a ship on the high seas during a storm - the rain is pelting you from all sides, visibility is pretty much zero - and all that you can do is batten down the hatches and hold on until the storm is past, and you can survey the damage.

Once the storm clears, and you can see daylight again, and take inventory of what was lost and needs repair or replacing. Usually, it was something that either:
a) needed to go, but you hadn't gotten around to clearing it, or
b) something that you were holding on to, something counter to your goals and needs, that you didn't want to let go of.

In either case, it was something that needed to be pitched overboard :-)!

During adversity, fear rears its ugly head. And, in acting from that fear, you can sometimes make things worse, instead of allowing events to prune unnecessary things from your life.

What can you do for someone going through hard times?

Be there for them. Different people need different things. Some people need to retreat, others need to socialize, others need to vent. Be aware of your friends needs, and try to meet them where they are.

Listen, really listen to them. Sometimes all they need is a sounding board to help them figure things out. Don't offer advice unless it is solicited (boy, I've messed up on this on big time over the years); they will work it out in their own time. What is obvious to you, is not necessarily obvious to them right away... give it time. Once they are out of the woods, to (ab)use a cliche, they will see the trees just fine :-).

How can you handle adversity better?

By preparing for it when you are enjoying good times. By building your habits and character so that when the storms reduce your visibility, you will still have a heading that you can point toward.

Your habits (eating right, exercising, practicing your spiritual path) will help keep your body and mind in good shape to deal with what's going on with the least amount of stress.

You personality habits will help you make decisions based on your integrity and principles, not just what everyone else is doing, or seems convenient or feels good at the time. In many ways, these preparations will blunt the force of the trauma of what you are dealing with, because you do not have to think about every single decision that needs to be made ... you will be following your principles on autopilot.

As Oliver Wendell Holmes said:
"If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it."

©2007 LaVeda H. Mason All Rights Reserved.

Why and How to Deal With Adversity