Learning From The Financial Crisis...

Here are the keys to financial freedom, and (eventual) wealth:

1) Don't spend all that you earn. Save some for a rainy day.

2) If you don't have the money to pay cash, you can't afford it. Save (#1) until you can.

3) Buy the least expensive, quality item that will do the job. Quality only has to be purchased once.

4) Give to others, and allow others to give to you. What goes around, comes around, and all that.

5) Remember, you only have to get through today... so plan for tomorrow, and let it go.

What else am I leaving out?

Learning From The Financial Crisis...

It's A Wonderful World...

There are many things that are wrong in the world today, and a lot of reasons (if you choose) to despair.

If we choose to.

Or, we can work on ourselves to be the change that we want to see in the world. To eliminate the cruelty, selfishness, predjudice in ourselves. To be kinder, more understanding, and generous with one another.

Even people that we don't know. Or don't look like us. Or don't live in our neighborhood/city/country.

No matter where we live, there is something to be grateful for.

Having a home, clothes to wear, food to eat, and water to drink. If you live in the West, there are all kinds of labor-saving devices that make your life easier. All kinds of gadgets to use to work, play, communicate, and other things. Just about all of them are within the financial reach of the average person. Physically, life doesn't get much better than this.

With all that we have physically, there is still the emotional and spiritual to work on. Can we become better people, so that our inner reality matches our physical reality? I think that we can. I think that I can; I'm willing to do my best to do so.

Can we start with our families? Can we treat our families with the respect that we extend to strangers? Before you flame me, think about this: Haven't you noticed that when someone want you to do something because 'we are family', that it is something that is usually not in your best interest? It will cost you, and not the other person, in terms of time, effort, money, and trouble. (This principle extends to any request that falls under the 'we have ____ in common, so you should do this' category)

Can we remember to use 'please', 'thank you', 'may I', and be kind, thoughtful and helpful to our immediate family members? Spread the love :-)!

It's A Wonderful World...

The basis of all negative emotion is....

Fear.

Those negative emotions are simply the 'fruit' of this plant. Think about this... the next time that you are angry, etc., stop and ask: yourself,

"What am I afraid of?"

The answer to that question will frequently tell you what needs to be done. You have this wisdom within you; you just have to listen to it.

When you dig up the taproot of fear, the plant (negative emotions), will wither and die long before bearing fruit and reproducing (causing trouble).

This realization has helped me a great deal... I still get angry, but when I recognize what it is that I'm afraid of, I often realize that my fear is unfounded, or that if it is real, it can be dealt with in a reasonable manner, not from a place of fear.

It also helps me to deal with other people. When I'm facing an angry person, I know that the person I'm facing is afraid of something. I do my best to remember that they are a human being, not an enemy (often not considered human, when we are dealing with them, unfortunately). This is hard to remember when you have someone yelling at you for no reason, but it helps when you want to call your lawyer for bail money :-).

In fact, what I get most angry about these days is injustice and cruelty... and I do my best to remember that my blind anger isn't going to help anyone, and to 'get a grip', as my children like to say... and remember that there is enough to go around, to not be afraid.

Do you find this (fear is the root of negative emotion) to be the case?

The basis of all negative emotion is....

Just for Today...

I will relax.

I'll stop worrying about the things that I don't know the whole story about. All will be revealed, in due time, if I am meant to know.

I will let other people handle their own problems without my input.

I will remember that I am okay, even though I am not perfect.

I will love the people around me, whether they love me back or not.

I will establish and respect the boundaries that keep me safe, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I will take a NAP!!

See you tomorrow!

Just for Today...

... Then Who Will Love Me?

"...the greatest suffering is being lonely, feeling unloved, having no one. I have come more and more to realize that it is being unwanted that is the worst disease that any human being can ever experience."
~Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Being unloved and unwanted is terrifying. I'd daresay that it is probably the reason that people put up with all kinds of emotional abuse; if you don't take it, "then there would be no one to love me", thing.

Scary.

I know first-hand how scary this is, I went through it with someone that was only too happy to pull out the "we are a family" schtick when it was something they wanted, that meant a lot of extra work for me, or not in my best interests. When things went south, though... they grabbed their behind in both hands and headed for the hills (metaphorically), leaving me to deal with the fallout. When the smoke cleared, I was expected to be okay with trusting this person again, the way that I had before.

That was an unforgettable, watershed moment for me. Something inside me snapped. I had worked so hard for people to like me, to respect me, to be a stand up person, by doing what others wanted me to do, that I had lost myself somewhere in the mix. And it didn't count for anything, anyway.

So, what did I do?

I said, "No."

And trotting out "We Are A Family" didn't work this time. (Have you ever noticed that when people pull out what you have in common with them to get you to do something, it is a really bad thing for *you* to do?) No one who knew me could understand why I was "being so difficult" ... but what really changed my viewpoint was this observation:

If I didn't do this, this person wouldn't love me anymore (BIG FEAR)...
but (facing fear)
their behavior spoke loudly and clearly that they DIDN'T LOVE ME ANYWAY!!

[!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sound of bonds breaking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

I'm so glad that my parents (who I've had my share of disagreements with over the years) were straight shooters... no emotional manipulation, guilt trips, and the like... so, once the blinders were removed, it was easier to cut the web of lies (spoken & unspoken) and machinations. Make no mistake, I don't hate this person, and life is too short to spend limited personal time with people who don't like you.

Is my life any easier?

In some ways yes, and in some ways no.

Yes, because my behavior and my feelings are on the same page. My worth is not based on the fleeting feelings of other people. I don't look into someone else's mirror to validate that I am a worthwhile human being, even though I am imperfect (just like everyone else).

No, because there is still pressure to conform, no matter what it may do to my spirit. No, because it is making the lives of the people around me more difficult. Everyone is learning about the new me, and she doesn't put up with trash from other people. And it is not up for discussion, either. I don't fight about it. I simply won't put up with it.

I will still give you the shirt off my back, just not at the expense of the things that are most important to me (the way that I used to).

But overall, I think that it has been a good thing. It has freed me to care about people, without having to take on all their problems personally. To allow my friends and loved ones to solve their own problems, without my help (which they probably didn't want anyway, lol!). Am I perfect with this? Nope. I'm still learning to mind my own business, but I'm getting a lot better at being dispassionate.

To answer the question that the post line poses, "I will." It starts with me. I have to exhibit the behavior that I want to see in other people. I have to teach people how to treat me, by walking the path.

Care to join me on the journey?

... Then Who Will Love Me?