It's A Wonderful World...

There are many things that are wrong in the world today, and a lot of reasons (if you choose) to despair.

If we choose to.

Or, we can work on ourselves to be the change that we want to see in the world. To eliminate the cruelty, selfishness, predjudice in ourselves. To be kinder, more understanding, and generous with one another.

Even people that we don't know. Or don't look like us. Or don't live in our neighborhood/city/country.

No matter where we live, there is something to be grateful for.

Having a home, clothes to wear, food to eat, and water to drink. If you live in the West, there are all kinds of labor-saving devices that make your life easier. All kinds of gadgets to use to work, play, communicate, and other things. Just about all of them are within the financial reach of the average person. Physically, life doesn't get much better than this.

With all that we have physically, there is still the emotional and spiritual to work on. Can we become better people, so that our inner reality matches our physical reality? I think that we can. I think that I can; I'm willing to do my best to do so.

Can we start with our families? Can we treat our families with the respect that we extend to strangers? Before you flame me, think about this: Haven't you noticed that when someone want you to do something because 'we are family', that it is something that is usually not in your best interest? It will cost you, and not the other person, in terms of time, effort, money, and trouble. (This principle extends to any request that falls under the 'we have ____ in common, so you should do this' category)

Can we remember to use 'please', 'thank you', 'may I', and be kind, thoughtful and helpful to our immediate family members? Spread the love :-)!

It's A Wonderful World...

Learning (Again) to Mind My Own Business

Proselytize \Pros"e*ly*tize\, v. t. [imp. & p. p. proselytized; p. pr. & vb. n. Proselytizing.]
To convert to some religion, system, opinion, or the like; to bring, or cause to come, over; to proselyte.

Some days, I do a pretty good job of minding my own business. As a spouse, parent, and homeowner, there's always something to do that keeps me busy, and out of other people's hair.

And sometimes, I discover new and shiny things (products, services, and information) that may be useful to my friends and loved ones. So, to me, it's perfectly natural to "share the wealth", so to speak.

However, every now and again, I've crossed the line between sharing information and proselytizing. Not from any desire to take over the unfortunate proselyte's (is that a word? lol!) life, or to make them feel like a failure, but out of an eagerness to share cool/useful info that I think may improve their life/make it easier/make it more enjoyable. I only have three words for myself when I do this:

STOP THAT STUFF (insert your own expletive here)!!!

I don't have enough wisdom and/or experience to play God.... I've seen His job, and I don't want it.

In addition, the unfortunate person feels pressured to accept my viewpoint, whether or not it is suitable to their lifestyle/interests/finances. Do I really want to do this? Do I really want a friend that does what I suggest, simply because I said it, without considering how such a thing fits into their life?

The short answer to all these questions is, "No."

So sometimes, sharing new and shiny information is its own reward. And maybe, just maybe, after I've done it myself, others will follow in my footsteps :-).

©2007 LaVeda H. Mason All Rights Reserved.

Learning (Again) to Mind My Own Business

Why and How to Deal With Adversity

Adversity: [noun] a stroke of ill fortune; a calamitous event; "a period marked by adversities"

Everyone acknowledges that adversity is a force that reveals your inner strengths and weaknesses. But, everyone also agrees that they don't want to go through it, even knowing that it will, in the end, be a beneficial experience for them.

Why?

Because dealing with adversity involves struggle, effort, time, money, trouble and worst of all, pain. And we will do almost anything to avoid pain in our lives. When you are actually going through adversity, it is akin to being on a ship on the high seas during a storm - the rain is pelting you from all sides, visibility is pretty much zero - and all that you can do is batten down the hatches and hold on until the storm is past, and you can survey the damage.

Once the storm clears, and you can see daylight again, and take inventory of what was lost and needs repair or replacing. Usually, it was something that either:
a) needed to go, but you hadn't gotten around to clearing it, or
b) something that you were holding on to, something counter to your goals and needs, that you didn't want to let go of.

In either case, it was something that needed to be pitched overboard :-)!

During adversity, fear rears its ugly head. And, in acting from that fear, you can sometimes make things worse, instead of allowing events to prune unnecessary things from your life.

What can you do for someone going through hard times?

Be there for them. Different people need different things. Some people need to retreat, others need to socialize, others need to vent. Be aware of your friends needs, and try to meet them where they are.

Listen, really listen to them. Sometimes all they need is a sounding board to help them figure things out. Don't offer advice unless it is solicited (boy, I've messed up on this on big time over the years); they will work it out in their own time. What is obvious to you, is not necessarily obvious to them right away... give it time. Once they are out of the woods, to (ab)use a cliche, they will see the trees just fine :-).

How can you handle adversity better?

By preparing for it when you are enjoying good times. By building your habits and character so that when the storms reduce your visibility, you will still have a heading that you can point toward.

Your habits (eating right, exercising, practicing your spiritual path) will help keep your body and mind in good shape to deal with what's going on with the least amount of stress.

You personality habits will help you make decisions based on your integrity and principles, not just what everyone else is doing, or seems convenient or feels good at the time. In many ways, these preparations will blunt the force of the trauma of what you are dealing with, because you do not have to think about every single decision that needs to be made ... you will be following your principles on autopilot.

As Oliver Wendell Holmes said:
"If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it."

©2007 LaVeda H. Mason All Rights Reserved.

Why and How to Deal With Adversity