Happy Birthday, and New Beginnings...

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Loving God,

I sense that Your ways are simple, but not necessarily easy.
I am learning that Your ways are in a different direction than my way.
For too long I have been holding onto meaningless images of:

~ My life,
~ My love,
~ My happiness,
~ My pain,
~ My career,
~ My things,
~ My spiritual journey,
~ My self.

I place my half thought out ideas and imperfections, my hopes and my dreams in Your hands.

Lift me to a higher place.

Fill me with Your truth and teach me to follow You.

I am willing to be as You would have me be.

Thank You, God.

Amen

Happy Birthday, and New Beginnings...

5 Ways to Improve Yourself While You Are Sick

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I am always learning new things all the time - about myself, and the world around me. One of the things that I have learned is that there are teachers all around me, if I am open to learning their lessons.

One valuable teacher is extended illness. There is nothing like being really sick to bring you face to face with your inner self. Extended illness is not dealt with by taking a few pills, and taking a day or two off. It pulls at the fabric of your patience in many ways... stretching it, making it stronger, or weaker, depending on your character. Sickness also exposes your flaws, weaknesses and dependencies.

What can you do as the 'student' of this teacher?

1. Recognize that this too, shall pass. Even if it is a chronic illness, know that you will have good days, and bad ones. Keeping this in mind often can help when your frustration rises.

2. Take care of yourself. Take your medicine, eat what you are supposed to [and, more importantly, *don't* eat stuff that you aren't], drink plenty of water, etc. You can't heal [or it will take a good deal longer] if you aren't giving your body what it needs.

3. Don't stress over what's not getting done while you are ill. It will be there when you are back at full strength, or someone else will get it done, if it's important. If you don't take care of yourself first, you may not be here ... and then you know for sure that you won't get it done. :-)

4. Ignore the people who wish/want you to 'snap out of it'. Odds are, they have never been the recipient of the gift of extended sickness. Shrug it off, and file it under, "they just don't understand". This is another good exercise of your patience, tolerance, and restraint.  Remember, many people feel helpless knowing that there is nothing that they can do, except perhaps be company for you while you recuperate and grow stronger.

5. When you begin to feel better, do not overcompensate for the time that you were down by rushing around trying to 'catch up'. Listen to your body. It will tell you if you are pushing yourself too hard, in the form of physical symptoms [dizziness, weakness, fatigue]. Not listening is a good way to relapse, and have to start over with your healing. What better way to learn the lesson than to repeat it? :-)


And the best part is, once you have internalized these habits, they will improve your day to day life by lengthening your patience, and strengthening your self-care skills.

What have you learned about yourself when you were sick? How did you deal with it?

If you liked this article, please share it on FaceBook, del.icio.us, Twitter or StumbleUpon. I’d appreciate it. :-)

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5 Ways to Improve Yourself While You Are Sick

Relationships

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The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.  ~Quoted by Alexandra Penney in Self

Relationships

The Greatest Need

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"I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything other than real, unconditional love. You can find it in a simple act of kindness toward someone who needs help. There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It is the common fiber of life, the flame of that heats our soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives. It is our connection to God and to each other." ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

The Greatest Need

Be at Peace...

You don't NEED it. You're still complete, whole, and loved without it. Be at peace with yourself. ~ Steve Pavlina

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Be at Peace...

On Creativity

"99% of the time, in my experience, the hard part about creativity isn't coming up with something no one has ever thought of before. The hard part is actually executing the thing you've thought of. The devil doesn't need an advocate. The brave need supporters, not critics." ~ Seth Godin


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On Creativity

7 Ways to Deal With Passive-Aggressive People

"Passive-aggressive behavior is passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following through with expectations in interpersonal or occupational situations.

It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.

It is a defense mechanism, and (more often than not) only partly conscious. For example a worker when asked to organize a meeting might seemingly happily agree to do so, but will then take so long on each task in the process - offering excuses such as calls not being returned, or that the computer is too slow, or that things are not ready when the meeting is due to start - that a colleague is forced to hurriedly complete the task, lest the meeting be postponed."

[Definition from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive_aggressive_behavior]

We all know folks who are like this... you speak with them about a project, or a problem, and they nod, repeat back what you said, and maybe even come up with a solution or two.

Then... they do exactly what they wanted to do - and that is not what you were trying to accomplish.

It can be very frustrating, and depending on the expertise of the offender, you may find yourself scratching your head, wondering if your communication skills are off, or if the person didn't understand you.

To paraphrase an old saying: they understood you perfectly; they're ignoring you.

So, how do you keep your sanity, *and* deal with these people?

1. Do not nag, beg, cajole, wheedle, or plead. Make your statement, and STOP TALKING. Remember, they understand, they're just ignoring you.

2. Don't get angry. It takes you from a place of proactivity, and will cause you to say or do things that you will regret later.

3. Cover Your Assets [Keep records]. If you discussed something, and a plan of action was agreed to, send everyone involved a transcript of the meeting, including who is to do what.  If it's not taken, you have records of what you said, and more importantly, what THEY said they would do.

4. Do NOT count on them. No matter what you have to do, make certain that you have a "Plan B" and a "Plan C" [because your "Plan A" -  them - is not reliable] to make certain that you get what YOU have to get done, done.

5. Don't take it personally, even though it may seem to be that way. If you do some digging, you will find that they are that way with everyone, not just you.

6. No matter what they tell you, no matter what promises are made, DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM - ONLY look at WHAT THEY ACTUALLY DO. For example, if they tell you that they are looking for a job, but they don't have a resume or portfolio put together, they are NOT looking for a job... they are just telling you that to 'get you off their back', because they don't want to deal with [whatever] issues they have.

7. Seek to distance yourself from them. It may take some doing, and it may take some time, but there are some people that it is best to love from a distance.

What do YOU do when you have to deal with passive-aggresive people? Comments, please!!

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7 Ways to Deal With Passive-Aggressive People

Who Should Be A Guru?

“The only person who should be a guru in your life is you. You’re in command of your own life...  It’s better that you develop your own power and authority in this area instead of reacting to what other people are doing. Feel free to lean on other people for ideas and inspiration. Then make your own decisions to figure out what gives you the best results.

Be careful not to make the mistake of confusing truth with popularity though. Just because everyone behaves a certain way doesn’t mean that behavior is aligned with truth. When you seek your own truths, you’ll often find that your discoveries are unpopular. Don’t let that stop you. It’s better to be scorned for truthfulness than to be praised for falsehood.” ~ Steve Pavlina

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Who Should Be A Guru?

What Goes Around...

Inspirational Story

A GLASS OF MILK - PAID IN FULL

Author Unknown

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, “How much do I owe you?” “You don’t owe me anything,” she replied. “Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness.” He said, “Then I thank you from my heart.”

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Year’s later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor’s gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She began to read the following words:

“Paid in full with one glass of milk”
Signed, Dr. Howard Kelly.

What Goes Around...

Enjoying Life As It Happens

I recently acquired 12 laying hens. This was exciting to me, since the 10 hens that I have are not laying [as far as I know].

I was told that the new hens probably wouldn't lay for a bit, because of the stress of the move.

So, you can imagine my surprise and delight when we got seven eggs within the first 24 hours after putting them in our pen! I held my first fresh egg moments after the hen laid it; it was still warm!! [My best friend said, "Are you gonna EAT it?!? Ewww!"]

And they've been laying ever since [all of 4 days, but, hey, I'll take it, LOL!]!

So, as you can imagine, I've been using lots of exclamation points in my speech lately :-).

Here, chickens are like dogs. Everyone has a few.

So you can imagine the 'Did she forget to take her meds today?'-type looks that I've received in my excitement.

This is how I feel about it:

Life is mostly the small stuff. Many things happen in the course of your life that are only exciting to you; but how many times do you win the lottery? Get that dream job? Or are recognized publicly for your achievements?

Not that often, huh?

Well, for me, celebrating the small stuff... the day-to-day accomplishments ... that makes my life more enjoyable and focuses my attention on what I have, and fosters a spirit in my heart of gratefulness and joy in the here and now, instead of waiting for that time in the future when I'll have 'arrived'.

You know... Things will be perfect when:

... I get that promotion/job
... I finish school
... the remodeling is finished
... the children are grown
... I have $X more money in my 401(k)

and the things is, after the goals have been achieved, I'll still have to continue on.

Enjoying my day-to-day life, and the small satisfactions therein, allows me to face the disappointments more easily [Dang! There's a monster line at the DMV again!], and not to take it too personally.

Enjoying Life As It Happens

WHAT IS ANGER?

It is the mask that fear wears.

Image From: Memory-Alpha

Try it on yourself.

The next time that you get angry, ask yourself, "What am I afraid of?"

And then wait for the answer.

Then ask yourself, "Is this something that I want to be afraid of?" "Is this something to be afraid of?"

The answer will surprise you.

Most of the time, you will find that you are afraid of something that you either:

Have no control over, do have control over and can do something about, or don't *want* to do anything about.

That's when you realize that, either way, you are wasting your time and energy being angry.

Do something about the problem and alleviate your fear.

Don't do something, and accept the situation.

Don't "try" to do something.

To quote Yoda, "Do, or do not. There is no try."

'Nuff said, LOL!!

WHAT IS ANGER?

On Spiritual Pride and Hypocrisy

I read this cautionary tale on UrbanMonk.net...

Once a renowned philosopher and moralist was travelling through Nasruddin’s village when he asked him where there was a good place to eat. Nasruddin suggested a place and the scholar, hungry for conversation, invited the Mullah to join him. Much obliged, Mullah Nasruddin accompanied the scholar to a nearby restaurant, where they asked the waiter about the special of the day.

“Fish! Fresh Fish!” replied the waiter.

“Bring us two,” they answered.

                                                            Image by: rogerimp

A few minutes later, the waiter brought out a large platter with two cooked fish on it, one of which was quite a bit smaller than the other. Without hesitating, Mullah Nasruddin took the larger of the fish and put in on his plate.

The scholar, giving Mullah Nasruddin a look of intense disbelief, proceeded to tell him that what he did was not only blatantly selfish, but violated the principles of almost every known moral, religious, and ethical system.

Mullah Nasruddin calmly listened to the philosopher’s extempore lecture patiently, and when he had finally exhausted his resources, Mullah Nasruddin said,

“Well, Sir, what would you have done?”

“I, being a conscientious human, would have taken the smaller fish for myself.”

“And here you are,” Mullah Nasruddin said, and placed the smaller fish on the gentleman’s plate.

Source: Evan’s Experientialism

On Spiritual Pride and Hypocrisy

Five very important lessons on how to treat others ...

I received this in my email; it's worth remembering...

1st Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?'

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.

Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

'Absolutely,' said the professor. 'In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello.'

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2nd Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:3 0 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.

Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.

A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 60s.. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him.

Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read:

'Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away.. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.'  Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole

3rd Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table.

A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. 'How much is an ice cream sundae?' he asked. 'Fifty cents,' replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. 'Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?' he inquired.

 By now, more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. 'Thirty-five cents,' she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins. 'I'll have the plain ice cream,' he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.

When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.

There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.  You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

     

4th Important Lesson - The obstacle in Our Path

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock

Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables.

Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.

After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.

The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The peasant learned what many of us never understand; Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5th Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease.

Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.

The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, 'Yes I'll do it if it will save her.' 

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice:

'Will I start to die right away?'  Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her but he had chosen to save her anyway.

    

These are powerful and heartwarming lessons.  We could all learn from them.  

Five very important lessons on how to treat others ...

Stars

Stars in the sky
Competing with aircraft lights
and flashy fireworks.

Although the star are outshone
by the lights closer to earth,
it is a fleeting brightness -
quickly lighted, and as easily extinguished.

But the beauty of the stars does not fade;
it only grows more beautiful.

Fireworks are like the lifetime of man-
A loud noise, a bright light, and then nothingness.

Image by Coda

Stars

This Book Belongs on Your Bookshelf (and in your hand, too!)

Personal Development for Smart People is aptly named. It is not a book for the apathetic, the oblivious, or the stupid.

The first part of this book takes you through the core principles of becoming a whole person, and then, in the second section, it walks you through the practical aspects of applying what you have (hopefully) learned in the first part.

This book revealed to me that while I have enough self-improvement to work to keep me busy (and out of peoples' hair) for a long time, I am on the right track for great many other things, and I need to find people to spend time with, that will encourage me to become a better person.

This book needs to be on your bookshelf and read at least once a year (preferably more often).

Think of it like this...

In ten years, you will be ten years older.

But, if you read Steve's book, think and apply the principles, in ten years you will be ten years older; but also wiser, more loving, enlightened, and accepting of both yourself and others.

Which will put you light-years ahead of the pack.

I say without hysteria or hyperbole, that this is the best, most useful book that I have ever read in the self-development field. (And I have read a lot.)

An 'instant classic'... one that was decades in the making.

Well done, Steve.

This Book Belongs on Your Bookshelf (and in your hand, too!)

Learning From The Financial Crisis...

Here are the keys to financial freedom, and (eventual) wealth:

1) Don't spend all that you earn. Save some for a rainy day.

2) If you don't have the money to pay cash, you can't afford it. Save (#1) until you can.

3) Buy the least expensive, quality item that will do the job. Quality only has to be purchased once.

4) Give to others, and allow others to give to you. What goes around, comes around, and all that.

5) Remember, you only have to get through today... so plan for tomorrow, and let it go.

What else am I leaving out?

Learning From The Financial Crisis...

Remembering to Breathe

Christine Kane recently wrote a blog post on the importance of expanding, especially when you are feeling shrinky.

This is so true.

If your focus becomes fractured by distractions, you will not achieve your goals.


Photo by SmellyKnee

'Fractured?' you say. 'Fractured' by what?

Problems on the job.

Arguments with loved ones.

Money issues.

And the million and one other things that interfere with your focus in day-to-day living.

And even if you know this, when you are in the trenches, it is incredibly easy to lose sight of the goals that you have set for yourself.

Especially when, on some days, it seems like Murphy came and brought his whole family *and* their luggage!

All in the hopes of distracting you from your goal.


Photo by Sami Keinanen

Why?

Because if you can be distracted from it, you probably don't want it all that much.

?!? ...

Yes, it's true.

Admit it to yourself.

The things that you wanted, really and truly wanted, you focused on, and did not let them slip through your fingers without a serious fight. The things that you 'kinda-sorta' wanted, drifted away without much of a struggle, as you let the rest of your life distract you from it.

And here's the thing:

The moment that you decide that you want something, *anything*, is when your desire and focus will be tested.

And that is when *you* have to decide what is important to you, and what you are willing (and not willing) to do to reach your goals.

Speaking of 'reaching for your goals'...

Check out Christine Kane's newest blog, BeMyRecordLabel.com, where *you* and *your* opinion can be part of the creative process of her newest album in production! Way cool! And the songs are great, too :wink:!

Remembering to Breathe

Death and Love

There has been a death in the family recently, and everyone is dealing with the loss in his or her own way.

The part that is most upsetting about when someone dies is that there are no more opportunities to 'make things right'.

They are gone, and whatever the state of your relationship when the person dies, that is the way it remains. Many people cannot handle that, especially when they have put off saying the hard things, like 'I love you', and 'I'm sorry'.

Photo by: Jim Gordon

One of the things that I have a hard time with is trying to keep up with people, to tell them how I feel about them and what they mean to me, and to apologize when I need to - without my ego getting in the way.

So far, I have been mostly successful in doing this; being emotionally transparent, while difficult, makes things a LOT easier when someone passes away... while the pain (of loss) is still there, the guilt (of not saying/doing things) is not.

Lesson here: Tell the people that you love that you love them. More importantly, SHOW them that you love them.

And don't wait until they are at death's door, either.

Remember, the sick are not always closest to death.

Death and Love

RIP, Randy Pausch

Randy Pausch passed away earlier today.



RIP. And thank you.

RIP, Randy Pausch

More On Taking Over The World!

Seeing the light by Me

Today, I found the site The Art of Nonconformity, written by Chris Guillebeau.



If you are interested in living a life without being limited by others' limitations, read this blog!



And, be sure to download his Manifesto, A Brief Guide to World Domination, it is short and to the point.



What will you learn by reading it?

• The Two Most Important Questions in the Universe


• Why Ruling and Changing the World are Interrelated


• The Clear Alternative to Being Unremarkably Average


• True Stories from Zen Habits, Kiva, Randy Pausch, and more


• The Most Important Work We Can Do


• Life Lessons from My Singapore Airlines flight to Tokyo 

So, take my advice and download this one, and keep reading the blog too!

More On Taking Over The World!