Fears' Mirror Twin: Courage

I was looking for something meaningful to post today, and came across this... I'm putting this one on my bathroom mirror, and my monitor:

"It's been proven that the only effective way to deal with fear is to walk through it, through the pain that accompanies doing something you're afraid to do. It takes courage to fulfill your commitments, courage to stay on track, courage to follow your dreams, courage to reach your goals, and courage to walk through your fear. Remember, reaching goals is not so much about doing big things when the feeling hits you; it's more about doing little things every day that move you toward your dream. It's about staying steady and on course."
~Francine Ward

[music]
Put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walking 'cross the floor!
Put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walking 'out the door!
[/music]

(I believe that's from one of those stop-action animated Christmas movies that I used to watch when I was a child... ain't pop culture wonderful?)

Fears' Mirror Twin: Courage

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

"Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

Why?

Because fear is an *emotion* that is roused and that fades away... which is as it always has been. Your feelings, beliefs, body, possessions, wealth, friendships, and family, will leave you, but only you - your consciousness, your soul will remain.

After you have faced and handled that which you feared, you will feel a *lot* stronger... the quiet assurance that only facing difficulty bestows. You know that you will survive trouble - because YOU HAVE SURVIVED IT - it is no longer an academic exercise; and if you can survive [unpleasant past reality], then you can survive this [unpleasant present reality].

It's a good feeling, but don't get too full of yourself in the process. You still need other people, you still need to stop, think, and plan, and you still need to remember not to let your fear overwhelm you. It is a process - a journey - not a stopping place.

Well, this is the last part of the Litany Against Fear. I'll write more about this topic as it comes to mind.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

"And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path."

Questions that only you can answer:

In the midst of your fear, after it flowed over, around, and through you, what lesson(s) did it teach you?

What did you learn about yourself (and others) from watching the events as they unfolded?

What were you afraid of before the event? Are you still afraid of it now?

What were the outcomes that worried you and kept you awake at night?

What do you need to do handle/prevent that challenge next time?

It seems like a lot to answer, but the questions are just for you, to answer inside your own head. And answering one question, helps you form the answers to the other questions. My experiences have taught me that once you actually face something that you are afraid of, even if the reality is unpleasant, it is almost never as bad as what you have imagined it to be.

And, even if it *is* as bad as you thought it would be, it isn't as frightening, because there is something about facing what you are afraid of (I'm not sure what) that relieves the fear when you are in the moment.

Debriefing after an event helps you in planning to correct issues that may arise in the future; so that when Murphy comes calling again, you can say, "go away', and close the door!!

And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

"I will permit it to pass over me and through me."

Incontinence jokes notwithstanding, what does this mean?

To feel an emotion doesn't mean that it has to take over your heart and soul. If you experience an event and let your feelings wash over and through you without struggling or denying them, it robs the emotion of its power over you.

Observe yourself as you are experiencing fear - what do you do? Does your heart skip a beat? Do you stutter? (When I am afraid, my stomach drops down the elevator shaft to the basement - and stays there!!!) This cultivated detachment allows you to have the clarity to do what is necessary (to start with, think) to solve the problem.

One of the things that I have worked on in dealing with my fears, is the realization that just because I feel an emotion, doesn't mean that I have to do anything about it at the moment I feel it. Many times, even taking the time to take a deep breath means the difference between a lucid response and a manic one. And, if I take the time to think about what I'm feeling, and what's actually going on, I sometimes discover that there is nothing for me to do at all (whether I *like* that or not, is an entirely different story, lol)!

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

I will face my fear.

"I will face my fear."

What will we see when we face our fear?

Many times, what we fear is not life-threatening at all. It may be embarrassing, or inconvenient, or even painful emotionally, but our existence is not in danger.

By stilling that first, unthinking reaction, we can see what we are afraid of and realize that what we fear is not going to kill us!! (Emotionally dangerous stuff is another can of worms - post to come in future.)

When we realize that, it can prevent panic from taking over, which will allow us to make rational decisions about what needs to be done next.

I will face my fear.

Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

"Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration."

When you give in to fear (as opposed to simply feeling/acknowledging it), you become unable to think clearly, and are more likely to panic (Panic: To be overcome with a sudden fear.), which will cause you to be unable to think at all, in a worst-case scenario!

If you don't/cannot think, you will wind up like the proverbial 'deer-in-the-headlights' ... and we all know what happens to the deer in *that* scenario!! While you are frozen in fear and panic, unpleasant things (that could have been lessened or prevented) go on around you or happen to you or your loved ones (this is where the 'total obliteration' part comes in - [smile]).

Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I must not fear.

As Earl Nightingale said, "You become what you think about." If you spend your time and thoughts in fear, things to fear will come into your life, because that is where your focus is.

To quote the current Dalai Lama:
"We should try never to let our happy frame of mind be disturbed. Whether we are suffering at present or have suffered in the past, there is no reason to be unhappy. If we can remedy it, why be unhappy? And if we cannot, what use is there in being depressed about it? That just adds more unhappiness and does no good at all."

I must not fear.