Happy Birthday, and New Beginnings...

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Loving God,

I sense that Your ways are simple, but not necessarily easy.
I am learning that Your ways are in a different direction than my way.
For too long I have been holding onto meaningless images of:

~ My life,
~ My love,
~ My happiness,
~ My pain,
~ My career,
~ My things,
~ My spiritual journey,
~ My self.

I place my half thought out ideas and imperfections, my hopes and my dreams in Your hands.

Lift me to a higher place.

Fill me with Your truth and teach me to follow You.

I am willing to be as You would have me be.

Thank You, God.

Amen

Happy Birthday, and New Beginnings...

5 Ways to Improve Yourself While You Are Sick

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I am always learning new things all the time - about myself, and the world around me. One of the things that I have learned is that there are teachers all around me, if I am open to learning their lessons.

One valuable teacher is extended illness. There is nothing like being really sick to bring you face to face with your inner self. Extended illness is not dealt with by taking a few pills, and taking a day or two off. It pulls at the fabric of your patience in many ways... stretching it, making it stronger, or weaker, depending on your character. Sickness also exposes your flaws, weaknesses and dependencies.

What can you do as the 'student' of this teacher?

1. Recognize that this too, shall pass. Even if it is a chronic illness, know that you will have good days, and bad ones. Keeping this in mind often can help when your frustration rises.

2. Take care of yourself. Take your medicine, eat what you are supposed to [and, more importantly, *don't* eat stuff that you aren't], drink plenty of water, etc. You can't heal [or it will take a good deal longer] if you aren't giving your body what it needs.

3. Don't stress over what's not getting done while you are ill. It will be there when you are back at full strength, or someone else will get it done, if it's important. If you don't take care of yourself first, you may not be here ... and then you know for sure that you won't get it done. :-)

4. Ignore the people who wish/want you to 'snap out of it'. Odds are, they have never been the recipient of the gift of extended sickness. Shrug it off, and file it under, "they just don't understand". This is another good exercise of your patience, tolerance, and restraint.  Remember, many people feel helpless knowing that there is nothing that they can do, except perhaps be company for you while you recuperate and grow stronger.

5. When you begin to feel better, do not overcompensate for the time that you were down by rushing around trying to 'catch up'. Listen to your body. It will tell you if you are pushing yourself too hard, in the form of physical symptoms [dizziness, weakness, fatigue]. Not listening is a good way to relapse, and have to start over with your healing. What better way to learn the lesson than to repeat it? :-)


And the best part is, once you have internalized these habits, they will improve your day to day life by lengthening your patience, and strengthening your self-care skills.

What have you learned about yourself when you were sick? How did you deal with it?

If you liked this article, please share it on FaceBook, del.icio.us, Twitter or StumbleUpon. I’d appreciate it. :-)

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5 Ways to Improve Yourself While You Are Sick

Relationships

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The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.  ~Quoted by Alexandra Penney in Self

Relationships

The Greatest Need

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"I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything other than real, unconditional love. You can find it in a simple act of kindness toward someone who needs help. There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It is the common fiber of life, the flame of that heats our soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives. It is our connection to God and to each other." ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

The Greatest Need

Be at Peace...

You don't NEED it. You're still complete, whole, and loved without it. Be at peace with yourself. ~ Steve Pavlina

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Be at Peace...

On Creativity

"99% of the time, in my experience, the hard part about creativity isn't coming up with something no one has ever thought of before. The hard part is actually executing the thing you've thought of. The devil doesn't need an advocate. The brave need supporters, not critics." ~ Seth Godin


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On Creativity

7 Ways to Deal With Passive-Aggressive People

"Passive-aggressive behavior is passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following through with expectations in interpersonal or occupational situations.

It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.

It is a defense mechanism, and (more often than not) only partly conscious. For example a worker when asked to organize a meeting might seemingly happily agree to do so, but will then take so long on each task in the process - offering excuses such as calls not being returned, or that the computer is too slow, or that things are not ready when the meeting is due to start - that a colleague is forced to hurriedly complete the task, lest the meeting be postponed."

[Definition from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive_aggressive_behavior]

We all know folks who are like this... you speak with them about a project, or a problem, and they nod, repeat back what you said, and maybe even come up with a solution or two.

Then... they do exactly what they wanted to do - and that is not what you were trying to accomplish.

It can be very frustrating, and depending on the expertise of the offender, you may find yourself scratching your head, wondering if your communication skills are off, or if the person didn't understand you.

To paraphrase an old saying: they understood you perfectly; they're ignoring you.

So, how do you keep your sanity, *and* deal with these people?

1. Do not nag, beg, cajole, wheedle, or plead. Make your statement, and STOP TALKING. Remember, they understand, they're just ignoring you.

2. Don't get angry. It takes you from a place of proactivity, and will cause you to say or do things that you will regret later.

3. Cover Your Assets [Keep records]. If you discussed something, and a plan of action was agreed to, send everyone involved a transcript of the meeting, including who is to do what.  If it's not taken, you have records of what you said, and more importantly, what THEY said they would do.

4. Do NOT count on them. No matter what you have to do, make certain that you have a "Plan B" and a "Plan C" [because your "Plan A" -  them - is not reliable] to make certain that you get what YOU have to get done, done.

5. Don't take it personally, even though it may seem to be that way. If you do some digging, you will find that they are that way with everyone, not just you.

6. No matter what they tell you, no matter what promises are made, DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM - ONLY look at WHAT THEY ACTUALLY DO. For example, if they tell you that they are looking for a job, but they don't have a resume or portfolio put together, they are NOT looking for a job... they are just telling you that to 'get you off their back', because they don't want to deal with [whatever] issues they have.

7. Seek to distance yourself from them. It may take some doing, and it may take some time, but there are some people that it is best to love from a distance.

What do YOU do when you have to deal with passive-aggresive people? Comments, please!!

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7 Ways to Deal With Passive-Aggressive People

Who Should Be A Guru?

“The only person who should be a guru in your life is you. You’re in command of your own life...  It’s better that you develop your own power and authority in this area instead of reacting to what other people are doing. Feel free to lean on other people for ideas and inspiration. Then make your own decisions to figure out what gives you the best results.

Be careful not to make the mistake of confusing truth with popularity though. Just because everyone behaves a certain way doesn’t mean that behavior is aligned with truth. When you seek your own truths, you’ll often find that your discoveries are unpopular. Don’t let that stop you. It’s better to be scorned for truthfulness than to be praised for falsehood.” ~ Steve Pavlina

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Who Should Be A Guru?

What Goes Around...

Inspirational Story

A GLASS OF MILK - PAID IN FULL

Author Unknown

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, “How much do I owe you?” “You don’t owe me anything,” she replied. “Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness.” He said, “Then I thank you from my heart.”

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Year’s later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor’s gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She began to read the following words:

“Paid in full with one glass of milk”
Signed, Dr. Howard Kelly.

What Goes Around...

Enjoying Life As It Happens

I recently acquired 12 laying hens. This was exciting to me, since the 10 hens that I have are not laying [as far as I know].

I was told that the new hens probably wouldn't lay for a bit, because of the stress of the move.

So, you can imagine my surprise and delight when we got seven eggs within the first 24 hours after putting them in our pen! I held my first fresh egg moments after the hen laid it; it was still warm!! [My best friend said, "Are you gonna EAT it?!? Ewww!"]

And they've been laying ever since [all of 4 days, but, hey, I'll take it, LOL!]!

So, as you can imagine, I've been using lots of exclamation points in my speech lately :-).

Here, chickens are like dogs. Everyone has a few.

So you can imagine the 'Did she forget to take her meds today?'-type looks that I've received in my excitement.

This is how I feel about it:

Life is mostly the small stuff. Many things happen in the course of your life that are only exciting to you; but how many times do you win the lottery? Get that dream job? Or are recognized publicly for your achievements?

Not that often, huh?

Well, for me, celebrating the small stuff... the day-to-day accomplishments ... that makes my life more enjoyable and focuses my attention on what I have, and fosters a spirit in my heart of gratefulness and joy in the here and now, instead of waiting for that time in the future when I'll have 'arrived'.

You know... Things will be perfect when:

... I get that promotion/job
... I finish school
... the remodeling is finished
... the children are grown
... I have $X more money in my 401(k)

and the things is, after the goals have been achieved, I'll still have to continue on.

Enjoying my day-to-day life, and the small satisfactions therein, allows me to face the disappointments more easily [Dang! There's a monster line at the DMV again!], and not to take it too personally.

Enjoying Life As It Happens

WHAT IS ANGER?

It is the mask that fear wears.

Image From: Memory-Alpha

Try it on yourself.

The next time that you get angry, ask yourself, "What am I afraid of?"

And then wait for the answer.

Then ask yourself, "Is this something that I want to be afraid of?" "Is this something to be afraid of?"

The answer will surprise you.

Most of the time, you will find that you are afraid of something that you either:

Have no control over, do have control over and can do something about, or don't *want* to do anything about.

That's when you realize that, either way, you are wasting your time and energy being angry.

Do something about the problem and alleviate your fear.

Don't do something, and accept the situation.

Don't "try" to do something.

To quote Yoda, "Do, or do not. There is no try."

'Nuff said, LOL!!

WHAT IS ANGER?

On Spiritual Pride and Hypocrisy

I read this cautionary tale on UrbanMonk.net...

Once a renowned philosopher and moralist was travelling through Nasruddin’s village when he asked him where there was a good place to eat. Nasruddin suggested a place and the scholar, hungry for conversation, invited the Mullah to join him. Much obliged, Mullah Nasruddin accompanied the scholar to a nearby restaurant, where they asked the waiter about the special of the day.

“Fish! Fresh Fish!” replied the waiter.

“Bring us two,” they answered.

                                                            Image by: rogerimp

A few minutes later, the waiter brought out a large platter with two cooked fish on it, one of which was quite a bit smaller than the other. Without hesitating, Mullah Nasruddin took the larger of the fish and put in on his plate.

The scholar, giving Mullah Nasruddin a look of intense disbelief, proceeded to tell him that what he did was not only blatantly selfish, but violated the principles of almost every known moral, religious, and ethical system.

Mullah Nasruddin calmly listened to the philosopher’s extempore lecture patiently, and when he had finally exhausted his resources, Mullah Nasruddin said,

“Well, Sir, what would you have done?”

“I, being a conscientious human, would have taken the smaller fish for myself.”

“And here you are,” Mullah Nasruddin said, and placed the smaller fish on the gentleman’s plate.

Source: Evan’s Experientialism

On Spiritual Pride and Hypocrisy

Five very important lessons on how to treat others ...

I received this in my email; it's worth remembering...

1st Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?'

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.

Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

'Absolutely,' said the professor. 'In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello.'

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2nd Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:3 0 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.

Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.

A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 60s.. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him.

Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read:

'Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away.. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.'  Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole

3rd Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table.

A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. 'How much is an ice cream sundae?' he asked. 'Fifty cents,' replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. 'Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?' he inquired.

 By now, more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. 'Thirty-five cents,' she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins. 'I'll have the plain ice cream,' he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.

When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.

There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.  You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

     

4th Important Lesson - The obstacle in Our Path

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock

Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables.

Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.

After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.

The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The peasant learned what many of us never understand; Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5th Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease.

Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.

The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, 'Yes I'll do it if it will save her.' 

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice:

'Will I start to die right away?'  Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her but he had chosen to save her anyway.

    

These are powerful and heartwarming lessons.  We could all learn from them.  

Five very important lessons on how to treat others ...

Stars

Stars in the sky
Competing with aircraft lights
and flashy fireworks.

Although the star are outshone
by the lights closer to earth,
it is a fleeting brightness -
quickly lighted, and as easily extinguished.

But the beauty of the stars does not fade;
it only grows more beautiful.

Fireworks are like the lifetime of man-
A loud noise, a bright light, and then nothingness.

Image by Coda

Stars

This Book Belongs on Your Bookshelf (and in your hand, too!)

Personal Development for Smart People is aptly named. It is not a book for the apathetic, the oblivious, or the stupid.

The first part of this book takes you through the core principles of becoming a whole person, and then, in the second section, it walks you through the practical aspects of applying what you have (hopefully) learned in the first part.

This book revealed to me that while I have enough self-improvement to work to keep me busy (and out of peoples' hair) for a long time, I am on the right track for great many other things, and I need to find people to spend time with, that will encourage me to become a better person.

This book needs to be on your bookshelf and read at least once a year (preferably more often).

Think of it like this...

In ten years, you will be ten years older.

But, if you read Steve's book, think and apply the principles, in ten years you will be ten years older; but also wiser, more loving, enlightened, and accepting of both yourself and others.

Which will put you light-years ahead of the pack.

I say without hysteria or hyperbole, that this is the best, most useful book that I have ever read in the self-development field. (And I have read a lot.)

An 'instant classic'... one that was decades in the making.

Well done, Steve.

This Book Belongs on Your Bookshelf (and in your hand, too!)

Learning From The Financial Crisis...

Here are the keys to financial freedom, and (eventual) wealth:

1) Don't spend all that you earn. Save some for a rainy day.

2) If you don't have the money to pay cash, you can't afford it. Save (#1) until you can.

3) Buy the least expensive, quality item that will do the job. Quality only has to be purchased once.

4) Give to others, and allow others to give to you. What goes around, comes around, and all that.

5) Remember, you only have to get through today... so plan for tomorrow, and let it go.

What else am I leaving out?

Learning From The Financial Crisis...

Remembering to Breathe

Christine Kane recently wrote a blog post on the importance of expanding, especially when you are feeling shrinky.

This is so true.

If your focus becomes fractured by distractions, you will not achieve your goals.


Photo by SmellyKnee

'Fractured?' you say. 'Fractured' by what?

Problems on the job.

Arguments with loved ones.

Money issues.

And the million and one other things that interfere with your focus in day-to-day living.

And even if you know this, when you are in the trenches, it is incredibly easy to lose sight of the goals that you have set for yourself.

Especially when, on some days, it seems like Murphy came and brought his whole family *and* their luggage!

All in the hopes of distracting you from your goal.


Photo by Sami Keinanen

Why?

Because if you can be distracted from it, you probably don't want it all that much.

?!? ...

Yes, it's true.

Admit it to yourself.

The things that you wanted, really and truly wanted, you focused on, and did not let them slip through your fingers without a serious fight. The things that you 'kinda-sorta' wanted, drifted away without much of a struggle, as you let the rest of your life distract you from it.

And here's the thing:

The moment that you decide that you want something, *anything*, is when your desire and focus will be tested.

And that is when *you* have to decide what is important to you, and what you are willing (and not willing) to do to reach your goals.

Speaking of 'reaching for your goals'...

Check out Christine Kane's newest blog, BeMyRecordLabel.com, where *you* and *your* opinion can be part of the creative process of her newest album in production! Way cool! And the songs are great, too :wink:!

Remembering to Breathe

Death and Love

There has been a death in the family recently, and everyone is dealing with the loss in his or her own way.

The part that is most upsetting about when someone dies is that there are no more opportunities to 'make things right'.

They are gone, and whatever the state of your relationship when the person dies, that is the way it remains. Many people cannot handle that, especially when they have put off saying the hard things, like 'I love you', and 'I'm sorry'.

Photo by: Jim Gordon

One of the things that I have a hard time with is trying to keep up with people, to tell them how I feel about them and what they mean to me, and to apologize when I need to - without my ego getting in the way.

So far, I have been mostly successful in doing this; being emotionally transparent, while difficult, makes things a LOT easier when someone passes away... while the pain (of loss) is still there, the guilt (of not saying/doing things) is not.

Lesson here: Tell the people that you love that you love them. More importantly, SHOW them that you love them.

And don't wait until they are at death's door, either.

Remember, the sick are not always closest to death.

Death and Love

RIP, Randy Pausch

Randy Pausch passed away earlier today.



RIP. And thank you.

RIP, Randy Pausch

More On Taking Over The World!

Seeing the light by Me

Today, I found the site The Art of Nonconformity, written by Chris Guillebeau.



If you are interested in living a life without being limited by others' limitations, read this blog!



And, be sure to download his Manifesto, A Brief Guide to World Domination, it is short and to the point.



What will you learn by reading it?

• The Two Most Important Questions in the Universe


• Why Ruling and Changing the World are Interrelated


• The Clear Alternative to Being Unremarkably Average


• True Stories from Zen Habits, Kiva, Randy Pausch, and more


• The Most Important Work We Can Do


• Life Lessons from My Singapore Airlines flight to Tokyo 

So, take my advice and download this one, and keep reading the blog too!

More On Taking Over The World!

Interesting Quotes...

Alice came to a fork in the road.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
~Lewis Carroll



"If you don't know where it is, you can't get there from here."
~ Unknown

Interesting Quotes...

Well, It's May...

and for the most part, my spring garden is planted. In late March, I began the task of selecting plants.

As I wandered through the local garden stores, all kinds of vegetables caught my eye, and I purchased with glee, looking forward to having fresh vegetables that I didn't have to pay an arm and a leg for; especially veggies like bell peppers... if they are green, they are expensive. If they are yellow or red, the price climbs to obscene levels. They actually cost more than meat... what are they doing, mining them like coal?

Anywhoo.

So, I'm in the stores, happily buying cantaloupes, watermelon, cucumbers, sweet potatoes, and herbs.

And, oh yeah.

Tomatoes.

What kind of garden is it without tomatoes? If you look through the gardening catalogs, you will see that there is a tomato in almost every color under the sun.

Fortunately, my gardening ignorance is being mitigated by my neighbors, who have assisted me every step of the way ("Do I spread the lime on the ground clockwise or counterclockwise?"), so I have a list of the types of tomatoes that do well for this area.

But, as you know, the only way to create a fool-proof plan is to eliminate the fool.

Heh.

Armed with my list, I buy the tomatoes on it. Celebrity, Best Boy, and Homestead. I also pick up some Golden Delicious (a yellow tomato), because it actually gave me three tomatoes last year, when the rest of my garden went AWOL and turned into a weed patch.

I plant my tomatoes (with instructions followed), and pick out the suckers, and trim them so that I can weed around them. I am rewarded with lush, beautiful-looking tomato plants, full of blossoms, and little tomatoes. And that's when I realize that they need to be staked.

No problemo, thought I. I'll head over to Wal-Mart, and pick up some stakes, and tie them up.

When I get to Wal-Mart, I realize that I don't have a clue as to how many tomatoes I have, so I call home, and asked one of the girls to go outside and give me a head count (so to speak).

75 red tomatoes of various kinds.
25 yellow tomatoes ... and two more pots of tomatoes staked on the front and back decks.

!!!

I bought and planted a lot, thinking that my Black Thumb™ would kill off most of them, and I'd have a few left to eat, can, etc.

I have 100 tomato plants (!!!), and while I figured out what it is going to take to keep the plants off the ground once they start bearing heavily (No one has that many stakes in stock; and I wasn't going to drive across three counties trying to buy up tomato stakes when gas is $4/gallon!), I have learned two valuable lessons:

One: Never shop while you're hungry. Experienced gardeners know that even if you have a large family (which I have), you don't need a whole lot of tomato plants to keep them swimming in tomatoes.

Two: Even if you don't know what you are doing, your 'What If?' scenarios should always include how will you handle success; when what you've been working for comes to fruition, sooner and in greater quantity than you dared hope for.

Are your systems in place to handle it all? Is your plan scalable? Can you get help?

Perhaps I'll open up a 'Bubba Gump Tomato Factory'... send recipes, LOL!!

Well, It's May...

The Enemy of Good...

is Perfect.

Why do I say this?

Because I have noticed that one thing that stops me and many others from achieving their goals in life is the idea that, if you can't do something right, you shouldn't do it at all.

That idea is totally bogus. It is simply a high-sounding way to procrastinate, to avoid doing 'that which must be done'.

Think about it... nothing and no one starts out being the best. They may have talent, or skill, but it takes lots of trial and error, going over the basics, and in general, being willing to not know what you are doing until you are able to learn how to do it well.

We all know this, and yet, we hold ourselves back, afraid to make a mistake, or to seem less than perfect.

And, one day, we look up, after waiting until we can 'do it right', and realize that X number of years have gone by, and you are still no closer to achieving your goals than you were X years ago.

I say this to you, as well as to myself:

Do it NOW. Mess it up, you can always redo, retool, start over. You'll learn from your mistakes (and you'll make plenty), and, before you know it, you'll look behind you, and realize that you have come much further than you ever thought you could.

Don't let the naysayers (no matter how close they are to you) tell you that you can't/shouldn't do it. Don't listen when they pick apart your failures. Instead, look at their lives. What have they accomplished? What failures have they bounced back from? Or, is their life a string of compromises, things done to please others, always taking the safe (and sometimes uninteresting) route? Do they make fun of others who are on the path to achievement? Do they find ways to 'take the wind out of your sails'?

We all need people who will pull us back from the edge when necessary, but the best friends are the ones that know you, love you, understand and support your goals. The most valuable friend knows that sometimes, instead of pulling you back from the edge, they need to push you over.

The Enemy of Good...

Experiences You Don't Like...

"When was the last time you embraced a situation that you didn't like?
Did you complain through the entire experience or did you run away
from the situation altogether? If you did either, you missed a wonderful opportunity to be something that you've never been before. It just might have been that one thing that you had been wishing for."
~Les Brown

Ouch!

This quote hits a little too close to home; the way that all good quotes do :-).

It reminds me not to listen to the voices; to stay the course and do the things that need to be done to achieve my goals.

Experiences You Don't Like...

Transition...

These past two months have been pretty difficult for me. I can’t say why here, but suffice it to say that it has been a struggle to keep writing. Posting, as you can see, has suffered even more.

One of the things that I have learned, and that I strongly believe, is that when things are the hardest, when it feels like you cannot endure any more... that is when you are closest to a huge breakthrough. Those of you who remember your childbirth lingo know that it is called “transition”, and it is the time that you are closest to birthing. It is also the time that you feel most like either calling a halt to things; ‘we’ll meet back here tomorrow and finish up’, or to beg for a cesarean, because you can’t take it anymore. But you’re right around the corner from holding your new baby in your arms.

I *know* that I am in transition... for what, I don’t know yet. But I still feel the pressure to get it all done... some of it is external, some of it internal. Knowing it hasn’t made it easier to bear up under it. There are plenty of times that I feel like getting under the bed, taking the phone off the hook, and ignoring everyone and everything.

But that doesn’t solve any problems, does it?

No, it doesn’t.

:-)

Well, as they say, "When you find yourself coming to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on!"

Transition...

On Loss...

"Looking upon the loss of anything as though it means the end of it, is the same as believing falling leaves mark the end of the trees."
~Guy Finley

On Loss...

On Perfectionism...

When Good Labelmakers Do Bad Things...

I need a new keyboard after looking at this one!! (sfw)

Honestly, it's a great reminder to me not to carry organization too far :smiles:!

On Perfectionism...

On Joy...

"Let there be more joy and laughter in your living."
~Eileen Caddy

On Joy...

'In the Nick of Time...'

Recently arrived in my email:

~~~~~~~BEGIN EMAIL~~~~~~

"We're in a Race Against Time! This is the central theme
of the DIW methodology. Speed is an essential component
to successful realization of the fruits of Debt Freedom.
It is not a casual stroll.

While we're paying off debt, time is our enemy.
In time, some calamity or another will threaten
our ability to make debt payments, and our
financial security.

Friday's unemployment report reveals 80,000 U.S.
workers lost their jobs in March. The unemployment rate
rose to 5.1%, the highest since September 2005. Many,
if not the overwhelming majority, of these workers have
debt, have children, and a non-working spouse. They have
lost this race against time. With luck, they may find another
job and another opportunity to start the race... anew... but
much farther behind.

Coincidentally, a friend of 24 years called on Friday.
He had been offered a generous severance package
in exchange for giving up his hi-tech job after 14 years of
service... and agreeing not to sue the company.
It took him about 3 seconds to decide to take the money
and run. Next month he'll be a statistic in April's
unemployment report.

He has a 4-year old child and a non-working spouse...
but he has no debt.

Almost one year ago to the day of his layoff notice, he paid
off their last remaining debt, their mortgage. His family has
been living debt-free ever since, and stuffing their savings
accounts with all of the cash that used to go to debt payments.
Coupled with his severance, this is enough cash to pay for
their reduced cost of living expenses for 3 years or so.

He achieved Debt Freedom in the nick of time.

He knows he must find another job. Children aren't cheap.
But... he has time.

If you're casually strolling your way to debt-freedom,
you're losing the race.

-------------------
Greg Moore is the Creator of the Wealth Building System
'DebtIntoWealth -- Lessons from My Journey to Debt Freedom'

"My husband is due to retire from the Navy in just two
years at a young 42 years old, and right around then,
using your system, we'll be completely debt free, which
means we could literally never have to work another day,
if we choose." -- Andrea Davis, South Korea

Get YOUR plan to get Debt Free today! Click:
http://www.debtintowealth.com/debttrap.html

DEBTINTOWEALTH.COM

~~~~~~~END OF EMAIL~~~~~~

Disclaimer from LaVeda: The links are not affiliate links, nor is this a paid post. I received this email, and I thought that the principle discussed was worth passing on, whether or not you use this system or a different one to get out of debt. (I haven't used the program, either.)

Anywhoo...

Why am I posting this?

Mainly because financial stability means the difference between whether Murphy just pops in for a minute, or brings 'extended visit' luggage :-)... and financial stability also brings peace of mind when the wolf comes knocking at the door.

Reduction/elimination of financial fear... it's a good thing :-)

'In the Nick of Time...'

It all Begins With One Question...

Why?

Once you know the 'Why?', the 'What', 'How', 'When', 'Who', and 'Where' eventually all fall into place (not necessarily in that order).

Otherwise, (without the 'why?' answered) what you are trying to do is meaningless, because you are more likely to fail to count the actual COST of what you want.

Knowing why you want something can help you to keep your priorities straight when you come to a fork in the road.

For example, when you get an opportunity to work on a project that will meet your goals, but will compromise your character and intergrity, you will find it easier to say 'no', because it doesn't line up with who you are. Conversely, if you haven't clarified why you are trying to do this, the what [you are willing to do to get it], and who [you are - character and ethics], won't be sufficiently strong to resist the siren call to compromise yourself.

Do you spend enough time with your family and friends?
Do you have no time to rest and recuperate because what you are doing is getting in the way?
Have your relationships died, decayed and/or mummified?
Have you become a Snuffleupagus? (Before November 18, 1985)

These are all signals that your 'why' isn't clear enough.

If this is true for you, the only person who can decide to change it is you. Your family, friends, acquaintances and coworkers may all be on your back to change, but ultimately, you have to decide to make the change, and stick with it. You do this by deciding what is important to you, and making clear, conscious decisions in the moment to not compromise your principles and convictions to achieve your goals.

I won't lie; this isn't always easy (depending on your goal, it isn't ever easy, even when your 'right way' is clear. But if you keep the end in mind (your goal), you will develop the habit of reminding yourself that the right thing isn't always easy, and the easy thing isn't always right.

It all Begins With One Question...

If You Just Keep On Living...

another piece of the puzzle will fall into place.

Especially if you talk with people, and ask their opinion about things.

I was speaking with a gentleman today, and the conversation turned to why people lie about things that aren't even important.

His answer totally floored me.

"Reputation", he replied. "People want to be seen a certain way."

Whether thay actually are that way or not. They present themselves that way, and then go on about their business, and you believe that they are the way that they presented themselves to be. And you treat them accordingly.

!!!!!!!

To tell the truth, maybe it is naive of me not to have thought about that, but anybody who spends any amount of time with you knows what you are like.

Unless you are a sociopath with incredible acting skills, people will figure out in short order that you are not who you represent yourself to be.

So, why waste time with facades? And add the moniker "liar" to your list of imperfections?

Any ideas on this one?

(Thanks, Joey!)

If You Just Keep On Living...

Happy April Fools' Day!!

If you are on the internet, you know that April Fools' Day began in earnest yesterday, what with people on the other side of the International Date Line starting the fun.

On Twitter, you could hardly believe anything you saw...

In email, practical jokes abounded...

In person, whoopee cushions sounded out...

LaughingSquid declared yesterday "Annoying Internet Day", lol!!

Me?

I was tempted to tell my dh that we were expecting another little one... but that wouldn't have phased him...

Or, that this one time that I played the lottery, and I discovered that I won ... but, he would have looked at the calendar immediately, lol!

Soooo... we just had a quiet April Fools' Day, and even the children behaved themselves.

Yes, they did. No fooling!

How was your day? What did you do?

Happy April Fools' Day!!

On Duty Vs. Expectations

I need to re-read The Notebooks of Lazarus Long again... along with some of Heinlein's other books. These tenets are something to keep in mind.

Lazarus Long/Robert Heinlein on Duty v. Expectations:

"Do not confuse “duty” with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect.

But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a footpad [a thief] than it is to deal with a leech who wants “just a few minutes of your time, please - this won’t take long.” Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up 100 percent of your time - and squawk for more!

So learn to say no - and to be rude about it when necessary.

Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you.

This rule does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours. Don’t do it because it is “expected” of you."

Amazing the attitude toward wasting time... especially when you consider that these words are coming from an immortal :-).

On Duty Vs. Expectations

Fragility

From The Group News Blog... [LowerManhattanite]

"Take a moment to take care of yourselves...and others.

You may have noticed my (LowerManhattanite's) scarceness over the last week-and-a-half or so. You may not have. I know that I've missed many of you and very much missed contributing as much as I would have liked.

Since Steve's illness and leaving us a year ago, the one truism we've all come to know is that “Life intrudes”—in good ways and bad. For me, life has intruded in a veritable multitude of ways in the last fortnight. Good...bad...but mostly it seems, the supremely distracting “What the f***” variety.

It has seemed overwhelming at times, and yes...it got me down, but in the end, I have my wits about me and can take care of myself. That last statement rings loudly in my head because what put that in hard perspective for me was some unfortunate news I received about a peer. Someone I worked with for a couple of years a few years back, a tremendously talented, dazzlingly attractive person with the world pretty much an open oyster for them—stardom, money and the works—and that person is now literally incapacitated by mental illness."

Read the rest here ... and remember to take care of yourselves :-).

Fragility

Winston Churchill on Danger...

“One ought never to turn one’s back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!”
~Sir Winston Churchill

Tell yourself repeatedly:
"I am moving through my fears, and I am free."

Remember that the resources you need come to you when you need them. Even when you don't know where they will come from.

-----
Speaking of resources, I am a novice webmaster. I need to change my homepage to reflect my three blogs. And while I'm doing research, I'm not finding what I need.

What I want to do is have my main homepage (www.laveda.info) have an excerpt of the latest blogpost of each of my three blogs, and change automatically as I keep posting, so that a newcomer to my site can get a taste of what I write about. WordPress MU has been suggested, and while it will do what I want, it is beyond what I can do, programming-wise, and write, too!

Any suggestions on forums, websites, etc. that provide tutorials on how to do this? I'm tearing my hear out here (and I didn't have that much to start with)...

Thanks, all!
LaVeda

Winston Churchill on Danger...

It All Comes Full Circle...

From our parents to us, and then to our children.

I think the greatest change that we can make as a people is to learn from the mistakes and triumphs of our parents, friends, and people around us.

Then, we'll be free to make totally different mistakes, that will help someone get ahead that much faster, and eventually, we will figure out the best ways to do things, with a minimum of stumbling around in the dark. 

Of course, this assumes that we're all Vulcans, and maintain a fairly high level of detachment, instead of getting all messy and emotionally involved in the activities, the process, and the outcome of what we are trying to accomplish. 

It All Comes Full Circle...

Something to Think About...

“We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves the way we are, and why we don't accept others the way they are.”

~ Don Miguel Ruiz

Something to Think About...

Speaking of Parents...

Give your parents a hug and a kiss, and tell them you love them....

Parents don't always make sense, but they love you...

Tissue alert!

Speaking of Parents...

Parent Job Description

[I'm filing this one under 'you always get what you need in your email...', because I didn't write it; although I could have! - LaVeda]


PARENT POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment.

Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!

Travel expenses not reimbursed.

Extensive courier duties also required.


RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis...

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right...

** AND A FOOTNOTE? **
THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!
If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents :)

Parent Job Description

The Older Children Get, The More They Need You

Lately, as I've been going through different things, my eldest child [who is almost 18], is dealing with similar things.

Learning that people aren't always how they present themselves to be, etc.

I've spent the last 18 years eating right, trying to model proper behavior and attitudes [not always succeeding, but trying], and keeping my children safe.

If you had asked me all those years ago, if by the time they were this age, what my job would be, I would have answered, "None."

Because once they are grown, your job is over, right?

[cackles madly]

Nope. As I am learning, the job changes from being a worker, to being management, to becoming a consultant.

I thought management was hard. Compared to being a consultant, it was a walk in the park.

The Older Children Get, The More They Need You

The Four Different Stages of Being a Parent...

1) Worker = Promises: deliver competent performance in a domain, over and over.
Ages 0-7 years (stages can overlap ages, depends on the child and the parents)

Changing diapers/toilet training
Feeding, bathing, grooming, dressing child
Getting child to doctors'/dentist, etc. appointments
Social visits arranged and executed
Teaching child proper social skills - dealing with elders, other children, and appropriate-to-the-situation behavior [indoor v. outdoor voice]
Teaching child how things work, and the way that the parent wants things done (ie, chores, etc.) and why

2) Manager = Requests: please do x by time y with condition of satisfaction z.
Ages 5-13

Child can be given an assignment with instructions, and child can carry it out with minimal supervision.
If there are questions, parent is asked for clarification.
Chores, etc. are posted, and done with minimal nagging, reminders, etc.


3) Executive = Declarations: bring forth, generate something new, lead.
Ages 12-18

Child can be given an task, with specific goals, and they figure out how to get the task done.
Child helps with figuring out how to achieve family, as well as personal objectives.

4) Consultant = Offer suggestions, guidance to help client achieve their goals.
Ages 18+

Child is now responsible for their own decisions and choices.
Parent can give suggestions and/or advice, but is restricted to watching, as opposed to direct
action.


Is there anything that I've missed on this one?

The Four Different Stages of Being a Parent...

Today Is A Beautiful Day (Redux)

Funny thing...

In an earlier post, I talked about my fears for humanity. In the comments, Solomon Broad reminded me that while it does seem that everything is coming to an end, things in many ways are better than they were 100 years ago.

Then, I read this post on The Happiness Project, and realized that it is very important to shield your joyousness, by any means necessary. Otherwise, you'll become that cynical, scarred person that I wrote about.

I'm still working out how shield my joyousness, while protecting myself and my family.

Any suggestions?

Today Is A Beautiful Day (Redux)

Quote on Miracles...

“There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” - Albert Einstein

From the ridiculous:
Mankind is to be represented in space by a Doritos Ad

To the sublime:
The Earth at Night

Quote on Miracles...

Today Is A Beautiful Day...

so, why am I angry [again]?

I think about the injustice, oppression, cruelty, and carelessness of people toward one another, and I get angry.

So, asking myself my own question:

What am I afraid of?

I am afraid that we, as a people, as a species, will not - or cannot - change. That the utopian society that I see in futuristic movies and books will never exist, because people refuse to relinquish their predjudices, biases and bad, hurtful habits to create a new society, a new world.

I am afraid that I will become like the people I see around me - apathetic, calloused toward others' pain and suffering - my heart and soul scarred over, until there is nothing tender left. A mindless automaton, doing the bidding of my corporate masters, whose sense of joy, wonder and appreciation for life has withered and died.

I am afraid that we will stop hearing one anothers' story, which is part of our own, and will annihilate ourselves because of it.

I am afraid that only the roaches will be left. [I ***HATE*** roaches! And, yes, I'm afraid of them, lol!]

Today Is A Beautiful Day...

Quote on Loving...

“A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is a mirror.”
~Ken Keyes Jr.

Something to remember. We can acknowledge the fact that misery and unhappiness exists, but determine for ourselves whether or not to let it color our interactions with others. Just because you encounter people who are hostile, doesn't mean that you have to become so to defend yourself.

And, I've learned that if I go out and encountering more than the usual amount of negativity, maybe it's not them, it's me. [That means that it's time to regroup, and readjust my attitude!]

The tricky part for me is to go with my heart, care about people, and still protect myself against the occasional hardened troll who hates those of us who still can smile :-).

Another quote for the monitor and mirror ...

Quote on Loving...

Faith of The Heart

This picture immediately brought to mind the lyrics to the theme song of the TV show ST:Enterprise:

It's been a long road
Getting from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally here

And I will see my dream come alive at last
I will touch the sky
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna change my mind

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything

I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I've got faith... I've got faith
Faith of the heart

Faith of The Heart

Evoking Wonder...

Blanket of stars against the night
Waiting for us to wrap ourselves in its beauty and power
and rest in our insignificance.

Go outside sometime, and look up at night. It is so beautiful, and it's a good reminder that there's more to life than us :-).

Image from: NASA's Astronomy Picture of the Day

Evoking Wonder...

Have You Ever Had A Difficult Day?

HERE'S my can of whoop-a$$!!

Have You Ever Had A Difficult Day?

A More Perfect Union...

A complex and compelling voice, speaking about the ugly, open secret that is racism in this country.

The link:

A More Perfect Union

My opinion on this speech is irrelevant. What is important is what you think and do about the issues that face us as individuals, as families, as a nation.

Do we continue to listen to the fear mongering, and stay in our bunkers, worrying about when 'they' are coming to get us?

Or do we operate from a place of trust and hope (scary stuff, I know, for those of us who are emerging from our shell)?

We've had years of inbred, insular thinking.

It's time to try something different.

No matter who you think can usher it in (Nader, 2008 - LOL!), go to the polls and vote for him/her.

Politicians are realizing that the people are waking up, and want something other than more than what they've had for the past eight years.

A More Perfect Union...

Possibilities Abound!

If you read my other blogs, you know that I [very] recently got a dog.

One of the things that I enjoy about babies is the idea of a fresh start. The idea of limitless possibilities that stretch out ahead, without the baggage that those of us who have been around a while have picked up.

Even dog babies :).

Although, when you think about it, even if the possibilities are not 'limitless', we can take our limited possibilities and do the best that we can with them.

Sort of like our own Kobayashi Maru test.

Do you believe in the 'no-win scenario'?

Possibilities Abound!

The Tale of The Wooden Bowl

I got this in my email...

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year old grandson.

The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
'We must do something about Father,' said the son.
'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.'

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.

Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.

He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded, 'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up. '

The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless.
Then tears started to stream down their cheeks.
Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.

For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life..'

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you...
But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others,
your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I've learned that you should pass this on to everyone you care about ... I just did.

The Tale of The Wooden Bowl

Kind people...

are kind.

Mean people are mean.

Don't confuse the two, even when they do something opposite of what they normally do.

One kind act doesn't make the mean person kind, neither does one mean act make the kind person mean.

Kind people...

People always...

believe that you will do what they will do in any given situation.

Which will tell you a lot about who/what you are dealing with.

Behave/respond/defend accordingly.

:-)

People always...

Just Because ...

you disagree with someone, it does not make them your enemy.

Just Because ...

Billion Dollar Obama Shocker...

[made you look, lol!]

In the interests of levity ... from the mind of Andy Borowitz [subscription information]

Cash-rich Obama Buys Yahoo

Outbids Microsoft for Internet Giant


Flush with cash after a deluge of online donations, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) stunned the business world today by outbidding Microsoft for the Internet giant Yahoo.

The purchase of Yahoo is believed to be the largest acquisition of a multibillion-dollar company ever by a Democratic presidential candidate, industry experts said.

A spokesman for Microsoft at the company’s Redmond, Washington headquarters acknowledged that the company was “disappointed” to lose Yahoo to Sen. Obama, but added, “We can’t really be mad at him, because we love him so.”

The news of Sen. Obama’s $48 billion offer for Yahoo sent a shudder through Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY)’s campaign, which for the past six weeks has been subsisting on Ramen noodles.

In his televised debate in Cleveland, Ohio with Sen. Clinton, Sen. Obama said that he was able to purchase Yahoo because his campaign was reaping online donations averaging $1.8 billion a day.

Mr. Obama also offered to “personally hire” 2 million Ohioans to do odd jobs around his campaign headquarters.

“People say, can we really come up with enough errands for 2 million Ohioans to do?” he said. “Yes we can.”

Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick praised Sen. Obama’s plan, telling reporters, “His campaign is more than just words, he is offering people a real opportunity to go on a Starbucks run.”

Sen. Obama later added, “My campaign is more than just words, I am offering people a real opportunity to go on a Starbucks run.”

Elsewhere, President Bush said that the economy was not in a recession, leading economists to conclude that the economy was in a recession.

Sign up today for your own Borowitz Reports, click the link below or paste it into your browser.

Subscribe

Billion Dollar Obama Shocker...

Creating a Path...

"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives."
~Henry David Thoreau

It can be discouraging to attempt to make changes in your life, only to find yourself slipping back into old patterns.

It helps to keep the above quote in mind, so that you don't beat yourself up unnecessarily over your temporary setbacks. Reboot, and keep on going!

If you blow your stack over something unimportant, remind yourself nicely that you're not like that at all... and then ask yourself what was wrong that you lost it then... for example:

"Hmmm. Wow. That's not like me at all. What was going on, that I let ____ get to me like that?"

Many times, you'll realize that you were worried about something else, or it was something as simple as you were hungry, or needed a break, and were pushing on past the time to do those things [children aren't the only ones who throw temper tantrums when they are tired :)].

It also helps to set yourself up so that you will succeed. It can give you the space that you need to make the right [new programming] decision/action, instead of the wrong [old programming] decision/action. Removing temptations and replacing them with healthy choices works with more than just changing your eating habits.

As an example, if you find you usually feel stressed out when you have to wait on a long line at the post office, you may want, as much as possible, to go at non-peak times and days, order supplies and postage online, invest in a scale, and/or batch errands with someone who doesn't mind the post office. Maybe you can do something for them that they hate to do, that you don't mind.

My point is, that you have to figure out what your triggers are, and how to avoid and/or minimize them, so that you can continue to press forward toward your goals, without backsliding as often.

Creating a Path...

What've I Gotta Do To Make You Like Me?!?

I was driving home in the car earlier today, and Elton John's "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word" came on... and as I listened, I felt very sad.

Why?

Because many people [including me] feel/have felt the way this song goes... [My comments in brackets]

"What do I gotta do to make you love me ... [nothing]
What do I gotta do to make you care ... [nothing]
What do I do when lightning strikes me ... [!!]
And I wake to find that you're not there ... [go home from the hospital, and find someone else]

What do I do to make you want me [there's nothing you can do, dear... s/he either wants you, or they don't]
What do I gotta do to be heard [if they're not listening... fugeddaboutit!]
What do I say when it's all over [Goodbye? Good Luck?]
And sorry seems to be the hardest word [Hopefully, you learned something from the experience, and won't make the same mistakes again.]"

Honestly, obsessing over a failed relationship is not a good thing, and does not make you a martyr. It makes you obsessed, and it is ALL downhill from there. And YOU are the one that suffers.

Yes, I have made the mistake about caring about people who didn't care a whit about me, except to use me. After a while, I got it. Even though it hurt me, even though it cost me, it WASN'T ABOUT ME. It was about THEIR cluelessness, selfishness, and cruelty.

That didn't absolve me from responsibility of learning the lessons that these negative experiences held, to keep from making the same poor choices again.

What expectations was I bringing to the party, that caused it to turn out this way?

As I learn more about myself and human nature, a lot of my questions were answered. And I didn't always like the answers. They didn't line up with the self-image that I had built up of myself, and revealed darker parts of myself to me that I didn't care for.

On top of all that, they didn't make sense [!!].

For example, there's something [sorry, typo] nothing that you can do to 'make' people like you.

Yes, manners and thoughtfulness and courtesy can go a long way toward making friends and having people like you, however... people don't always like one another.

You know this.

Haven't you ever met someone, and something about them reminded you of someone that you disliked? It probably took a long time to get over that initial impression [if you ever did].

Even if the person in question never did anything to you.

So, that having been said, you can do everything right, and an individual can decide that they don't like you ... or don't like you anymore. And, many times, it has nothing to do with you. All you have to do with it is to accept it, and move on. If they are meant to like you, they will.

But to quote Gownron ... "Perhaps, but not today!"

What've I Gotta Do To Make You Like Me?!?

How Do You Do What You Do?

A friend recently asked me how I do all the things that I do (I was discussing the end of the nursing relationship with my youngest), because they felt that I was doing things that only someone in my precise situation [sahm, lots of children, homeschooler, etc.] could do.

I have to strongly disagree with that statement.

I know a woman who has more children than I do, and she went back to school, got her degree, got her medical degree and went through her medical internship. And no, her children weren't grown.

[!!]

The difference between me and the above-mentioned woman is FOCUS. Her focus was different than mine. [No value judgement here, different is not bad, or good... just different.] So she was able to achieve different things than me.

But she achieved her goal, and I achieved mine.

Focus requires that you make decisions.

Decisions to strip the unimportant, the trivial, the desired-but-not-really-necessary from your life.

You have to decide what is important to you and your family, what you can live with, and what you can't do without... in order to reach for what you want.

How Do You Do What You Do?