“If love is an action, how do you express self-love? Self-love starts with having the courage to be who you are, regardless of what others might think. It is about having the courage to live your dreams, to do what makes you happy in life, so that one day you won't wake up saying, ‘I wish I had.’ Self-love is about self-care, making your health a priority. Self-love is revealed in your willingness to stay focused on the things you say are important. It's about having the courage to set boundaries and protect them."
Exactly! It doesn't exclude others' needs... it makes certain that your needs are taken care of.
Women, in particular, have been sold a bill of goods that taking care of themselves, or setting and maintaining boundaries is selfish. Probably by those who wanted their needs and wants put first, whether it was appropriate or not.
One thing that I am most grateful for - and I didn't realize what a gift this was until recently - is that my parents did not manipulate me with guilt, etc.
When someone tries to use guilt to get me to do something, I immediately 'hear' - "this is something that you shouldn't be doing - this person is trying to manipulate you".
That is when I decide that I need to (urgently) go to the nearest store, and buy a pack of cigarettes, be right back!
I'm usually out of the house, in the car, and around the corner before they realize:
I don't smoke.
"HEY!!!! COME BACK HERE!!!!"