Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Why Do People Freak Out When You Establish Boundaries?

This was on my list to blog about, and I had begun the article, but Kevin at Change Your Tree wrote this article that says it all... so, I won't re-invent the wheel:

Here's a snippet:

"If you’ve maintained healthy boundaries for a good portion of your life, it is likely that your family and the people you associate with respect them. If you’ve only recently begun to erect boundaries or you are planning on erecting boundaries in the near future, you may run into some road blocks if your friends or family don’t know what healthy boundaries are or look like. This is because boundariless people have an aversion to healthy boundaries.

It isn’t all their fault; they were probably raised by boundariless parents, grew up with boundariless friends, their siblings are boundariless, the family was dysfunctional, they have issues resulting from physical, sexual, or emotional abuse during their childhood, etc. It could be all of those, some of those, or only one of those.

Whether their boundarilessness is all their fault, some of their fault, or none of their fault has no bearing on the situation though because the reality is that we are faced with people who are probably not going to react appropriately and in a healthy manner when we hold our boundaries. In order to cope with this, it helps to understand why.

Here are eight reasons why boundariless people have an aversion to healthy boundaries."

Go here to read the rest!


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