Wednesday, June 05, 2013

About Excuses...

This thought greeted me as I woke up today:

"Turn the reasons why you can't, into reasons why you can."

I have seven children. (No, that's not a typo!) And one of the things that I have learned about having seven children is that it can get me out of anything I don't want to do.

Want me to bake 40 dozen cookies for the bake sale? "I have seven children."

Want me to go to lunch with you? "I have seven children."

You get the idea.

For you Star Trek:Voyager fans, I'll paraphrase Captain Kathryn Janeway, because having seven children is a little like using logic: "You can use seven children to justify anything; that's its power… AND its flaw."

Because once you throw that card on the table, the discussion's over - it's the ultimate "Get Out of Jail Free" card.

Because if you have seven children, it is believed that your resources are scarce. Money, time, energy, sanity (well, maybe sanity … :-) !!)

Now, that's great when I want to get out of doing something that does not serve my life and values (after all, I have SEVEN children, lol!!), but when it keeps me stuck, that's not so good.

I've done a fair bit while having (not while in actual labor!!) and raising seven, and I've learned that they are the best REASON to do anything, as well as the best REASON to ruthlessly eliminate the crazies (I'm looking at you, 'outlaws'!), the negatives, the time sucks (well, I'm still on Facebook, "Friend" me!), and move forward.

Turn your excuses into reasons:

"I have seven children, so I can't…" (EXCUSE)
"I have seven children, so I must…" (REASON)

Replace my reason with yours in the above example.

One of the reasons that I knew that I couldn't, mustn't stay stuck is because of one question asked by a coach and friend, Steven Barnes.

"What would you tell your child to do in this situation?"
As I thought about the answer, it hit me:


They are WATCHING me and USING me as their model… WHAT AM I TEACHING THEM WITH MY EXAMPLE?!?!? (That is not happy punctuation there, let me tell you! It was a pretty dismayed, horrified thought!)

Do what needs to be done.
Do what you need to do.
Turn your excuses why you can't, into reasons why you must.

Can it be terrifying? Absolutely.
But it so empowering to drive your life without the parking brake on.

Do I have this perfect? No (my children will heartily agree with me - they 'see' me in my imperfect glory every day) ... This post is just as much for me as it is for anyone. That's why my Facebook profile cover photo says, "There is no finish line."

What they also see is me moving forward, one step at a time. Falling down. Getting back up and trying again. I am open to them, willing to accept my mistakes, work out the problems and talk it out (VERY important with teenagers).

I don't want my children to be like me. I want them to be BETTER than me, so *I* have to be better than me - better than I was yesterday, so they can step into their power early in their lives, and project their eventual children still higher.

Turn your excuses why you CAN'T… into reasons why you MUST.

And yes, I know that ending it with "CAN" would flow better, but this isn't about writing flow, it's about getting off your keister ('ass' for those of you who like stronger language) and GETTING THE JOB DONE.

Kaizen!! (Google it!)


2 opinions on this post:

Carrisa Contreras said...

So touched! Your post makes me thinking so much, about the kids, the family.
Wait to see a day you came back and update your blog.

Rich said...

Very inspiring. I believe there is a neurolinguistic aspect to this, when you just tell yourself "I can" or "I must", just pronouncing the words, makes a difference in your actions.